Wednesday, July 29, 2009
You know you're at XL when...
1. There's a 6pm class going on, and at 6-53pm, 97% of junta are busy pinging each other on Facebook to find out whether ANYONE has gone to attend the class.
Often called: MASS BUNK
2. A smiles at B, C reports this to D, who claims to E, F and G that A took B out. E, F and G tell I through P that A and B have been going steady for 6 months. They in turn tell all their friends, who tell their friends, who tell...
Next morning, A finds his Facebook flooded with "Congratulations! When's the Wedding?" questions from 1,479,456 users, most of whom have no idea who A is, but who just want the gossip.
In other words, GRAX.
3. There's no time to eat and even less time to sleep, because work fills all available time (apparently), but there's always time to catch three back to back episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, attend a Drac quiz and bungle it up, and loudly cheer a grainy version of Harry Potter and the HBP in LH-1 until 2-30am. And then go back to the room and crib about there bring no time to do anything.
Otherwise known as FRAX.
4. It's 3-45 am in the morning, the world is dead to all noise and movement, and inside a whitewashed room, sixteen people are asking at the same time for bread burji, aloo cheese sandwich, gobi aloo cheese paranthas, omelettes, fried maggi, cigarettes and nimbu pani. And they ALL get exactly what they asked for in record time.
The eighth wonder of the world: Bishu-da.
5. The class is in full swing, the prof is asking B for a two-line definition of Motivation; and Q jumps up and explains it in 3765 words, with two diagrams and a chart thrown in, as well multiple pointed references to the textbook authored by the same prof (and still doesn't manage to explain what it is to the class, which has by now fallen asleep with mouths wide open.)
In brief: DCP.
6. Prof asks for the meaning of Transfer Climate- and R begins: "Well, sir, to look at it from a general perspective, I am convinced about the veracity of the definitions given by Roiller and Goldstein, however, to put my own views in a nutshell regarding the subject matter under discussion and throw a clearer light on things as they stand"-
Pure, unadulterated-by-facts, GAS.
7. On July 1st, a deadline of July 15th is declared for a project submission. Till 14th, there is no reponse, only lethargy, inertia- and on 14th night:
At 11:00pm, with a sudden burst of spontaneous energy, people are darting into each other's rooms, asking if anyone else has done it.
By 1:00 am in the morning, mass prayers are being organised and Google worship is under way.
By 3:00 am, 50% of people are in Bishuda's looking like escaped convicts and groaning in acknowlegement of each other.
By 5:00am, 66% give up, put in arbit shit and 4-5 random graphs and hit the sack.
By 7:00am, the last few survivors vow never to postpone work ever again and collapse over laptop.
Next week, another deadline- same story.
XL meri jaan! :-)